2,000 Ladybugs

Ava had the great idea of releasing 2,000 ladybugs into our garden in honor of McKenna. She says they are going to fly to heaven to see McKenna. She also had us write this letter:

Dear McKenna:

I miss you. My whole family misses you. We all cried for you. We are your family. We love you.

We are all hanging in there and although we are still very sad, we are moving forward. We will never forget this special little lady bug, but we know there is another little girl out there that belongs in our family. This is giving our family a lot of hope that this journey was not supposed to end here.

Enjoy the ladybug pics! I have never seen so many ladybugs in one place!

The Impact of a Little Ladybug

We are so thankful and amazed with all the support we have received through this very difficult time. I know McKenna can feel the huge outpouring of love and celebration of her life as she rests in the arms of God.

I have to be honest...it's been hard for me to grasp this tragedy. Why such a precious child would be taken away just when she was getting her forever family...it's beyond our answers. In all of our despair, we have looked for something positive to come out of this. We were led down this path for reasons we just don't understand right now. McKenna was meant to come into our lives...and she deserved to be loved with all we have. She deserved big dreams. She deserved all of the months of planning we did for her. She deserved SO MUCH MORE.

But for reasons we may never understand, it was not meant to be the way we wanted it. Her life was meant for something else.

This special child has had such an impact on so many lives...how touching, how amazing, how incredible. This little orphan who was abandoned at one day old, living in a small city in China, has reached across oceans and brought so many of us together. The world of adoption has opened my eyes to so many things. So many wonderful people. So many wonderful stories. And some tragic ones as well. I have learned so much. McKenna has taught me well. My eyes are open, my heart is full, and knowing how it turned out with our little ladybug, I would do it all over again. No question. I'm a better person for knowing this baby girl.

In honor of our little ladybug, we have started a new blog to help raise money for a wonderful organization called Grace and Hope. This organization took McKenna out of her orphanage and put her into a foster family. This family was all she knew....and they loved her....just like a family would. We are so comforted that she knew this kind of love. We want to give other kids the opportunity to know that kind of love while they wait for their forever families. Please visit McKenna's legacy website. We would love to honor her life in a positive way.

Her life was meant for something else. We believe her legacy could help so many others.

www.aladybugslegacy.blogspot.com

I want to say thank you again for the incredible amount of support. It's helping us cope as the grief runs deep. And thank you for embracing McKenna's life.

Devastated

We are heartbroken. Devastated. Crushed. Helpless.

McKenna has passed away unexpectedly. I can barely even type these words. It just doesn't seem real.

We are having a hard time right now and it's tough to put thoughts into words. Please say a prayer for her, think of her, honor her life. She deserved so much more. She was so loved....she had a big life planned for her. And a family to call her own. Why did this happen to her? I'm struggling. A lot.

I need some time to wrap my head around this. This has brought me to my knees and I'm just lost. I am trying to see the bigger picture here, but all I see is sadness. Lots of sadness. I promise to check back in at some point. I can't bear to take down her blog. I am just broken.

Rest In Peace, baby girl. We love you.

Mother's Day Pictures

What a great day to celebrate BEING a Mom! There's certainly nothing better!

I feel like I have won something!

And it would be my NVC LETTER! It's one of the LAST steps to getting our travel approval.

I cannot describe what it feels like every time you can cross a "step" off your list. You wait and wait....and wait some more......for ONE step to be completed. You can't even look towards the next step until the current one is marked off your list. So, when the time comes...and you find out you have moved past a step....it feels like you have won the best prize. It's the highest UP of the roller coaster. And then you start going DOWN while you wait again. Waiting for the next UP.

Roller coaster ride. Great analogy. Still on it....can't wait to get off and pick up my baby girl!

Getting closer!

Just one more thing to cross of the list. Now we are waiting on the paper work to be sent from the USCIS to the National Visa Center. There are several steps from there, but we are just happy to be progressing on this journey. It's getting much closer now! I'm guessing it will take another 7-9 weeks from here. We are hoping to travel in mid to late June.

The Blessed Road of Adoption

I have been following an adoption blog that has really touched my soul. I follow quite a few, but this one is really special to me. Today, there is a post titled "What Love Can Do". You can read it here:

When I read it, I felt so blessed to be headed down the adoption road. To see the journey of this amazing family and watch the transformation of their little girl....it's priceless. At the same time, the way this little girl has affected their lives....honestly, I'm speechless. Just when I think I know the impact McKenna's adoption will have on our family, I see or read something that makes my heart grow bigger. When people ask me why I would adopt an orphan I have never met, I cannot easily put into words the "why". My reasons at the beginning of this journey are some of the same ones I have now.

BUT there is so much more to this than I ever realized.

There is no way I could summarize the "WHY" in a simple conversation....there are way too many reasons and some that are just undescribable. When you read something like "What Love Can Do", you see first hand how a family full of love affects the lives of everyone involved. Many people have said to me that McKenna is such a lucky little girl that we are adopting her.

And I see it as if WE are the lucky ones.

The truth is, that all of us....TOGETHER.....will be affected in the most amazing way. And there may never be a way of fully explaining it to anyone.

So, I'll hope that my words will give some insight to the true love behind adoption. And I hope that I can inspire someone else to open their heart to this blessed road.