Who knew a Christmas stocking could hold so much meaning?

As I pulled out my Christmas decorations on Thanksgiving day (my favorite time of year!), I quickly realized that our family Christmas stockings were a bit ragged and needed to be replaced. With the birth of each child over the years, I always started over with the stockings so we would all coordinate. Our Christmas stockings are always displayed in the house during the holidays as they represent each person in the family. These stockings were 5 years old...bought when I was pregnant with Ava. While I stared at the stockings, an overwhelming feeling crept up out of nowhere. These stockings needed to be replaced not because they were worn out, but because there is a little soul out there that needs to be represented, too. It was time to start a new "stocking" chapter in our lives. As I shopped for the perfect stockings, my mind was filled with visions of our new daughter. There is so much to learn about her, so much to teach her, so many memories to create with her. She doesn't even know about Christmas yet! When I got home with 6 new stockings, I hung them across the fireplace mantle. Ava walked in and immediately honed in on the new number of stockings. The usual 5 was a beautiful 6 across. Ava pointed to each stocking and wanted to know who it belonged to. When we got to McKenna's, she walked over and gave it a hug and kiss. She spent the next hour asking me over and over again whose stocking was whose...each time, stopping at McKenna's and smiling. As I look at the mantle now and see the 6 stockings, there is an ache in my heart when I see the one at the end. I wonder to myself how I can love this little girl so much already. She knows nothing about me or her new family. She has no idea how much we feel she is part of our family already. Yes, she will be represented in our house this Christmas. Her stocking will be the reminder that even though she is half way across the world, she is near to us...in our hearts and in our minds.

I can't end this post without saying that my baby girl, Ava, turns 5 tomorrow. Happy Birthday, Ava! It's been the most amazing 5 years with you in our lives. You have grown into the most wonderful little girl...full of life, full of zest, full of spirit.

Have you followed your heart today?

How many times in life can you honestly say you have followed your heart? Given in to a constant, gnawing feeling that there is something bigger out there for you to do? Trusted completely in God to lead you, blindly following the twists and turns that you would face along the way? We all know the feeling...we have all had moments in our lives where we wanted to do something, be something, make a difference. We dream big as a child and as we grow older, the visions fade out and doubt sets in. We come up with every possible reason why we "shouldn't" instead of coming up with reasons why we "should". We are led by others doubting our dreams, when instead we should be looking within. The constant gnawing feeling becomes less and we move on without following that dream.

Our journey started with that gnawing feeling. A fierce, unexplainable desire to add a little girl to our family who not only needed us, but who we needed, too. I tried to ignore the feeling at first, coming up with every possible reason why this would not work in our busy lives. But day after day, the feeling was there...loud and clear and it was not going to go away. I knew there was a little girl out there that would complete our family. My husband and I have always said that we would adopt if we ever wanted more children, but I never saw us going through with those plans. When I started talking to friends about my desire to adopt, I was faced with comments I wasn't expecting. Some even tried to talk me out of it, like it would somehow affect their own lives. I pushed the negativity out of my head and listened only to my heart. My husband and I pressed forward, researching all we could about International adoption. There was no doubt in my mind that China was the country of choice and the more we learned, the more we knew that we were being called to their Waiting Children Program. I spent my days researching dozens of medical conditions, trying to decide what we could handle in our family in regards to special needs. As much as I struggled with narrowing down my list, I knew in my heart that this program was where we would find our daughter. Ultimately, there are no guarantees of health with anyone and we were ready to take that leap of faith.

On October 20th, we submitted the remaining fees and paperwork to our home study and adoption agency. The sense of peace I felt that day was overwhelming. I was going to trust in God and let the rest fall into place. Little did I know that at 11:00 that night, I would get a call with the most wonderful news!

By 3:00 the next day, we submitted our LOI for a beautiful little girl from Pingnan County, Guangxi Province. Her age and special needs fit exactly what we indicated we were looking for! There is no doubt in our minds that this little girl was meant to be part of our family. There were so many signs along the way that led us to submitting our application that day. What are the chances!?!

We received our PA on October 27th and are currently waiting for the final draft of the home study so we can submit our 1800A. The last month has been a blur of paper chasing. I had no idea that compiling a dossier was so intense! There were several road blocks along the way, but in the end, we accomplished a lot in a very short period of time.

There is no better feeling for us than to know we followed our hearts and it led right to our baby girl, McKenna. We let nothing get in the way of our vision to complete our family with this precious little girl from China. We are all so excited to start this new chapter in our lives. It's going to be one exciting ride!