UPDATES!!!

5 months later, we finally get an update on McKenna! I had really all but given up and accepted that we may not get anymore information on her. So imagine my surprise when my agency coordinator (God Bless her!) sent these photos and updated measurements to me! It was like opening the best present you could ever dream of. So, today I will celebrate and obsess over every photo. Now, I'm bound and determined to make this baby girl wear a SMILE when we bring her home. She always seems so serious in her photographs! Take note of the whistle she is wearing in the pictures....we get the feeling that McKenna has a very spirited personality, which will serve her well under the reign of Miss Ava. (Of course, now Ava wants a matching whistle.)

Updated Measurements:

Height: 33 inches, weight: 28 pounds, head size: 18 inches, length of feet: 5.5 inches, number of teeth: 17

Oh and by the way, today is day 41 of the LOA wait. We have seen a huge amount of LOAs being given out this month with various waiting parents. That fact gives me a little hope that we'll get our LOA in the next 3 -4 weeks or so.

Now, on to staring at my new favorite pictures......

The Girlie Girls' Room

Okay, I have to admit.....it's been REALLY fun decorating this room! Quite the retail therapy and project I have needed lately. We started from scratch and wanted to come up with the "perfect" little room for Ava and McKenna to share. Lots of love went into bringing this room to life....thank you Mom and Richard (and Johnny for putting up with my obsession with decorating kids rooms)! The two royal princesses will share many memories in this room.......laughter, tea parties, dress up sessions......sisterly love. Ava is still a little lonely without her baby sister in the room at night, but we are working really hard on that! It's all becoming much more real to us......McKenna's throne awaits!!!

You have to celebrate the small things.....

To China With Love....

We are 24 days into our "wait" for LOA. Only 24 days....with at least another 40 days or more to go. After all of the rushing around to prepare the dossier, it's tough to sit back and just wait. Sooooo, what better way to pass the time than RETAIL THERAPY?? I have to admit, I've done quite a bit of that lately. I am working on the girls' room now and promise to post pictures when the room is all complete. I've also been picking things up here and there for McKenna. It sure makes me feel a little closer to her. I think there needs to be "retail therapy" budget in the whole adoption process.

I decided to send McKenna an Easter care package through Ann at Red Threads. The CC@@ requires waiting parents to send care packages through a 3rd party. Our agency finally found out that the packages we sent in December were delivered to McKenna via the Pingnan County orphanage director. Someone from the orphanage visits McKenna once a month in Nanning to check on her. This was great news to hear and knowing that, I feel much better about sending another package. In the care package, I'm also going to add a letter (translated by Ann) and include a self addressed/stamped envelope in hopes that the foster family will send me something back. It worked great for my friend, Nicole, adopting from Nanning as well. It's a great way of getting questions answered by the people who know McKenna the best!

I think we are finally half way there. It's hard to think that we are JUST NOW half way, but as I look back on the last 4 months, I can honestly say this journey has been quite amazing. This little girl has changed me, already, and though the wait is brutally hard, I know the best is yet to come.

McKenna's Finding Ad

Finding ads are quite common in Chinese newspapers. According to the government, all children that are found abandoned must be put in the paper; hence "finding ad". There is an organization who collects all of these papers so they can provide adoptive parents the earliest documentation of their child's life. The ads give a description of the child and exactly where they were found. McKenna's ad was found last week. McKenna's ad states that she was found at one day old, under the banyan tree, in front of the Pingnan County government building. While I'm so glad to have this early photo of her, there are other emotions to contend with. It is painful to think of her as a 1 day old infant, under the tree, all alone....left behind. I also ordered the full paper, where it shows about 10 other kids, 2 of which must be 9 or 10, along with her. An entire section of the Chinese newspapers are dedicated to these kids. It's a great reminder to why we started on this journey. There are so many abandoned children in China. This all brings me back to the Starfish Thrower story. There are so many orphans in this world and while you can't possibly save them all, you certainly can make a difference to one. This story is posted on the side of my blog, but I would like to draw attention to it again here. It certainly tied it all together for us:

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?" The young man paused, looked up and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves. "It made a difference for that one!"

How can you miss someone you've never met?

I woke up today with an uneasy feeling. Thoughts of McKenna were dancing through my mind...I must have had a dream about her. As I sat with my morning coffee, I started going through a few of the pictures I have of her. I look at these pictures quite frequently, but today, they brought about a whole different range of emotions. Plain and simple, I miss this precious little girl..the kind of "miss" that leaves a little hole in your heart. A void that you know cannot be filled with anything else but her. I know these emotions are part of this journey, but there is no reasoning with my heart. I'm going to feel the void of her absence until she is in my arms. I know some people wonder how you can miss someone you have never met. I may have wondered the same thing before I started on this journey. This process has been so eye opening....life changing....so much bigger than me. The range of emotions are quite overwhelming at times. I can compare this journey to what I experienced while pregnant with my 3 children. From the very beginning of my pregnancies, I became immediately attached to my babies. As they grew in my tummy, the love I felt for them grew as well. I became entrenched in learning all I could about how they were developing at each and every phase. I became attached to their due dates, their names, their promises of life. I dreamed big things for my kids, all before I saw their faces. And I certainly loved them with every ounce of my being. There has been nothing better in my life than becoming their Mom. This is how I feel about McKenna. The journey of becoming her Mom may be a bit different, but I can honestly say, the love is growing the same way it did for my other kids. I feel so lucky in many ways that she has come into my life. She has already made me a better person...changed the way I look at life...opened my heart to love in ways I have never known. All of this and we have never even met.

So, I will go about my days, still feeling the void, but preparing big dreams for McKenna. The void continues to grow, but the love we all feel for McKenna grows more. I hope she is having a wonderful Chinese New Year celebration this week. I know we are looking forward to sharing this holiday with her next year!

Our LID has arrived!

I have to remember that most people have NO clue what a LID means! All of the adoption acronyms were so foreign to me at first and now I am obsessed with 3 little letters. LID=Log in Date. Our LID is officially 2/10/2010. Our dossier has been received in China and will have to be translated now. Our countdown to LOA has begun. I'm already 1 day in, which weirdly enough, feels pretty good! Next week is Chinese New Year and the CCAA is closed for 7 full days..hopefully this will be motivation for the CCAA workers to clear their desks faster. It's getting more difficult to remain patient through this process. There has been no official updates on McKenna and we are not even sure she ever received the 2 care packages we sent her. Because her orphanage is in Pingnan County and she is being fostered in Nanning, it makes it very hard to get any information on her. I am hoping we can get an update before we travel. It sure would be nice to know her clothing size before we go. So many people ask me what McKenna is like and I have to tell them I really have no idea. I "think" I know what she'll be like, but honestly, I am ready for anything. Our faith has lead us to this little girl and we know she was meant to be ours.

Now, on to that LOA....